Being an adult is hard. That’s a short sentence because it hardly needs any elaboration. There are many things that make it hard, things like getting a job and being able to afford a house and a car and to still have some semblance of a social life when all the bills have come out. The hardest thing for me personally though is the making and maintaining of friendships.
I got to thinking about this last night. I’ve finally finished training at my new job so I’m in my new team and ostracised from my old team mates who I’ve been through training with since November.
We went on a team night out last night and everyone including my manager were just great. They were easy to get on with, easy to talk to and easy to laugh with. I planned on eating my meal and having one drink but instead I ended up out until the last train because I was enjoying myself with my new friends.
The thing is though as an adult these friendships do not remain. As proven by my training team. I had nights out with them which were just as good. We got drunk and laughed a lot and partied till the early hours. We promised to keep in touch and stay friends, continue having great nights out. But it’s not always possible. Some of them moved on to other jobs, the rest of us are on contrasting shifts and can’t seem to get a day off or even a lunchtime together. The group chat on Facebook has gone from a nightly occurrence to pretty much nothing.
The same has happened in the past. Friendships I’ve made at companies I’ve worked at where we’ve promised to always stay in touch have dribbled away to nothing or just the odd message now and again promising we will meet up soon but never actually organising anything.
It’s the same with existing friendships. We keep in touch via text and the odd phone call, occasionally stretch ourselves to a quick coffee and a ‘catch up’ but it’s hard to find the time. Moving away to a different town puts distance between us. Different working hours, study time and partners are all things which affect the time we can actually make for friends.
So I wonder as I sit there with my brand new temporary friends. Is this what it is to be an adult? Small fleeting connections with many different friends who all bring something new to your life but never remain?