There’s a lot of things in life that are important. There’s things that are important to the whole world such as the crisis in Syria and the attacks on Paris on Friday night. There are things that are important to us as individuals from exam results to job interviews to more trivial things like finding a nail polish to match your new dress.
What isn’t important for me and shouldn’t be for anyone else is holding on to negativity. Why? Because it serves no purpose at all. We can help to change the world by fighting in a war against terrorism. It might be donating to a charity, going somewhere to volunteer or simply showing your unanimous support by changing your profile picture on Facebook. It could be the satisfaction you get for finally finding that shade of blue nail polish or the happiness and pride you feel when you pass the exam or get the job. Being bitter and jealous does not breed a good result. It does not serve to make you or anybody else happy. Instead it breeds and eats away at you like a worm. It makes you rot from the inside out and leaves a nasty taste in your mouth. In the end it will only make you sad and lonely.
Many moons ago when I was 15 and still at school I had a friendship group. There were 5 of us and of those 5 me and one other girl decided to stay on at sixth form. Due to this we ended up being the closest of our group and the ones that stayed in touch. We went to school together and studied the same subjects, we hung out together after school, we went on holiday together for our 18th birthdays and she pretty much lived at my house. Over time and mainly because I got a job working weekend nights we drifted apart. She wanted to go out partying and I was working, I was sad to lose my friend but I understood that as adults you sometimes choose different paths and move on. We were still friends, still there when the other needed us but as time went on we barely saw or heard from each other. Long phone calls drifted away to a Facebook post saying we should catch up sometime.
As more years passed us by and we were both 21 our lives had evolved down completely different paths and we barely spoke. Something involving mutual friends came up that I’ll not go into but it resulted in an argument between the two of us via text. She called me a variety of hurtful names that hurt my feelings and I defended myself verbally and called her fat. It was low and wrong of me but there’s only so much you can take when faced with abuse and I was only 21 at the time and hasn’t matured enough. Hindsights great eh?!
We never spoke again. I saw her out and about and tried to say hi on a number of occasions but she always blanked me or was rude. So I stopped. I was an adult about it and to be honest I never really give the whole thing a single thought.
This weekend I was out with my friends one of whom was part of the original friendship group. We saw the lemon girl (to make it clear without naming her) and the friend I was with went over to say hi. 5 minutes later she joined me and our other friend to say that lemon had done nothing but be rude and obnoxious towards her. Then today lemon messaged her on Facebook saying how nice it had been to see her and she was sorry for being rude but she didn’t want to talk to her while she was with me!
I was I must admit completely flabbergasted. This petty, silly argument happened in 2011. This is the girl I met when I was 12 years old. Who held my bag when I got in a fight at school, shared lunch with me, holidays with me, slept at my house and shared secrets with me till the early hours. I was with her when she lost her virginity. She came to stay when her mum kicked her out and we cried on each other’s shoulders when we broke up with guys.
The fact that she could hate me so much after all this time. The fact she could still feel so angry and bitter about it was astounding to me. We are women now no longer girls. There are many people I have fallen out with over the years and while some like me can maintain that level of maturity to be civil or to just plain pretend we don’t exist to each other I find it fascinating that someone else can behave so much like a teenage girl.
So I say, for anyone out there who’s doing the same. Pull yourself together, put on your big girl pants and a bright smile and leave being bitter to lemons…