I appreciate that my own personal suffering is nothing to that of others who go through much more and much worse. However I felt the need to share my story both to inspire and to be inspired for the people (not just women) who are like me and struggle with feeling suppressed by everyday life.
I have a lot to be thankful for, a job, a home, a loving partner, a great family and a pretty cool dog. But everyday I feel supressed by the suffocation of not doing what I enjoy. I am a reader and I am a writer. I love to write be it assignments, blog posts, cvs, poetry or stories. More than anything I have the desire to get up in a morning and go to a job that I love whether it be working with books or with writing. Slowly I am getting there, I’m taking my degree and have 2 years left, but 2 years is a long time and in the meantime I am suffering through a series of terrible jobs.
Monotonous, painfully slow days spent in front of a computer creating bills and processing sales orders. Working for a team leader I can’t stand and dealing with her petulant boyfriend and my miserably annoying colleagues who have worked for the shitty company since leaving school and act as if it’s God’s own heaven on earth. I earn poor wages, cycle there and back in all weathers and put up with their bullshit everyday and I’ve only been there for 5 weeks.
I had a decision to make regarding my pathway at university this week and my mum gave me some stellar advice ‘study what you know you will enjoy because you will work harder knowing that you enjoy it’ and I think this applies to jobs as well if you enjoy it you get up in a morning and you go but if you hate it you don’t want to go and you don’t work as hard when you’re there. I know it’s unusual for anybody to like their job bar a select few but I just wish I didn’t feel like I was wasting the best years of my life tied to working in admin for pennies every week.