I watched a short video the other day which unfortunately I can’t remember where I saw it in order to reference! Anyway the video was about being a ‘bad’ feminist and was basically a run through of reasons you might think yourself unable to be a feminist. Some were silly reasons like am I a bad feminist if I shave my legs/do I have to be nice to people I don’t like just because they’re women etc.
The video got me thinking about my own life as a feminist and what feminism means to me. As a feminist I believe in having equal rights to men. Being paid the same money to do the same job etc but when I really delve into my psyche I do think that in some ways I could be a bad feminist.
- I shave my legs not because I particularly want to but because I do conform to a beauty standard set by others and don’t think my boyfriend would like it if I went round with legs and armpits hairier than his. Neither do I want to be stared at in the street for it
- I do like it when men hold doors open for me and I appreciate it when someone buys me a drink
- I expect my boyfriend to pay for things albeit sometimes
But then the more I evaluated those choices the more I thought about them rationally. My boyfriend earns more money than me and if it was the other way round I wouldn’t mind being the one to pay for the meal or buy him some drinks. Yes I conform to the beauty standard but i don’t judge women who don’t and I respect their choices. I think that is what feminism is about after all it’s the choice to do what you want with your body and damn the consequences of what other people think. We will always be judged for something regardless of if we are men or women. Whether it’s for tattoos, piercings, body modifications, jobs, home life or earnings. Inevitably what feminism is about is if your not going to judge the guy who shaves his armpits why are you judging the woman who doesn’t?
(And a little door opening for someone is manners after all :p)