Someone told me once that a woman has a personality change every 7 years. I don’t know how true that is or what evidence there is to back it up, but I gave it some thought in terms of my own life and how much I’ve enjoyed it despite the changes I’ve made and the different lifestyle I live now compared to 7 years ago when I was 18.
Life for me used to be very money orientated and in some ways it still is but for different reasons. It used to be all about going out and getting drunk and suffering from that feeling we often get; particularly as young people that if we don’t do something we’re missing out. I allowed myself to get into debt because I wanted to go on THAT holiday which ended in disaster when I fell out with my friends and had a traumatic journey back from Ibiza on my own in 2013. I went on a night out every weekend even if it meant paying for my skint friends drinks/taxis/club entry when I didn’t really have enough money myself. I wanted to be out there doing everything and living life to the fullest the only way I knew how. The results of this were a series of one night stands or relationships that lasted no longer than two weeks. A battle with depression and anxiety. Messing up several good jobs, losing a few friends and a lot of debt from loans (both from family and actual lenders) and a hell of a lot of regret. I was that girl who wants to stay out until 3am even if the night is downright sh*t just in case something happened. Even if all my friends had gone home I’d hit up some acquaintances, find out who was out and go party with them instead. I’d waste my Sunday’s lying in bed (not always my own) feeling horrendous and eating copious amounts of pizza while watching Gossip Girl. Monday’s would often find me ringing in sick due to a two day hangover or struggling in and managing to do nothing resembling productivity.
Things changed when I met my boyfriend in February of this year. Everything moved very fast due to him finishing uni and getting a job in Nottingham in May. The only option we could both see (due to agreeing that a long distance relationship wouldn’t work) was to move in together. There were doubts on both sides from each other to family and friends but we made it a success and we’re very happy. Money is still important to me but in a different way, it means keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table. I still like to go out but now I prefer a restaurant we’ve never tried before or a trip to the cinema, a walk down the canal with our dog (previously my dog) and taking in places of natural beauty or history in our local area. I still enjoy seeing my friends, bingeing on pizza and Netflix but I do it now minus the headache and with someone warm and cuddly to snuggle up to. We have a great sex life that doesn’t run the risk of heartbreak or (even worse) STDs . I have a best friend who I get to share all my crazy thoughts with as well as sleeping together and being each other’s Rock.
On Wednesday the people who read my blog regularly will already know I left my job. After the move and relocation I was struggling with the commute to my old job so I took an office job in my new town through an agency. I had my doubts at interview when the manager told me ‘I haven’t read your cv, I have no idea what to ask you or what to show you’ and asked me 6 or 7 times if I had any questions for her. To be honest it felt more like I was the one interviewing her! I took it though due to the desperation I was feeling about changing jobs and the promise of an improved salary (plus no travel costs) what I got though was a clicky office of nasty, b*tchy women who advised they couldn’t see the point in training me past the easiest most mundane tasks due to me being at uni so probably not wanting to stay at that job forever. When you bear in mind that I have 3 years left at uni, being a glorified office junior is not the career path I’m looking for. They stole from me, they were generally awful to me and when confronted denied it and I got no sick or holiday pay or any other rights due to being an agency temp. So I left. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Given time to regroup and decide what I want to do for a job and career has been great. It’s given me the power to only accept interviews with companies I actually want to work for and with. If I’ve had interviews that have given me the creeps or the feeling it’s not right for me I’ve been able to say thanks but no thanks.
I think what I’m trying to say is that my outlook on life has changed significantly in the last year. Yes I’ve got into a relationship for the first time in many years but becoming part of a couple has enabled me to find out who I am as a person in my own right. I’ve gained independence, confidence and a drive to do well and be a success in my own right in a job I actually want to do.