Why I’ve lost my friends

Two months ago I was your typical 24 year old working girl/student. I worked and studied all week and played hard at the weekend. I had several groups of friends so that there was always somebody, somewhere who would be up for donning their glad rags and going out for a drink and a laugh.

Fast forward two months and I haven’t been out with my friends in over 8 weeks. So what’s changed? Oh that’s right, I got a boyfriend.

Ha! I hear you say, you’re one of those girls… those girls who ditch their friends and stop going out the minute they get in a relationship. Except I’m not.

This is the weird thing. I, like other singletons out there heard the rumours. I had it genuinely happen to me when friends got in relationships, one minute they’re your party BFF the next minute they’re holed up watching Netflix, eating pizza and being naked with their loved one all weekend. I, again like other singletons swore that, that would never be me. Except here I am spending my weekend’s binge watching American Horror Story, discovering Papa John’s club chicken pizza and spending a lot of my time without clothes on.

It isn’t me that’s the problem though. It hasn’t happened that I’ve thought hey, you know what I’ve got a boyfriend now I don’t need those guys! What’s happened instead is that I got a boyfriend and my friends started treating me like a social leper. They just don’t ask me to go out anymore. Take one close friend for example. We were inseparable, we worked together, hung out together, text all the time and I stayed over nearly every weekend, we spent months planning her birthday bash but when her birthday arrived she went out with other friends and I wasn’t invited. Another friend and I had been planning a trip to Ibiza for a week then without asking me she’s booked with another girl, presuming (wrongly) that because I’m in a relationship now it means I wouldn’t want to go on a girl’s holiday abroad. Even when I put the effort in myself it takes weeks to get a friend to commit to a night out or even just a lunch date, it’s as if by becoming someone’s ‘other half’ I have ceased to be viewed by the people closest to me as a person in my own right. I am no longer asked to events or to go on nights out because people simply presume that I either won’t want to come or that I will want to drag my boyfriend along with me but that really is not the case.

So to all the people out there who complain and slag their loved up friends off behind their backs for being in a relationship, maybe it’s time you gave a thought to whether your views on how they have let you down are accurate, or whether if you take a look you’ll find you have no evidence to support your presumptions and that like me, your friend might actually be waiting for that invite, that text or phone call and would love to be your party BFF again.

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