My friend told me off today. It was during a conversation where I was gushing about a second date that had been arranged between me and a guy I had been on a date with earlier in the week. The telling off came when I mentioned that dating was expensive. Her basic point was that being female I shouldn’t be contributing or paying for anything on a date. Her mind set is that she is ‘old fashioned’ in her belief that the man should always pay on dates and it is not acceptable to pay for anything or contribute to anything until you have been in an actual relationship with that person for some time. My mind set is however that this goes against everything feminism is about.
It beggars belief in this day and age that people still believe this to be true. Yes we all like going out and being spoilt and most men like to play the gentleman but how as modern females feminist or otherwise can we expect to have equality in all things but then believe something so ‘old fashioned’ as the man paying for everything for the woman?
For a start looking at the picture in general I work full time and have a steady income of just over a thousand pounds a month. My date is still a full time student whose only income is his loans and student overdraft. Why should I expect him to pay for everything when I am the only one with an income?
Feminism seemingly has a bad name these days, it is like the actual concept has been lost somewhere beneath extremity and presumed definitions of what feminism is actually about. It also seems that people use feminism as and when it suits them. As aforementioned the type of person who wants equality in all other aspects of their lives but still expects to have their dates paid for entirely by men.
Don’t get me wrong I am not for one minute saying that there is anything wrong with a man paying for a date. If that’s what he wants to do and you’ve offered to contribute and he’s declined then fair enough go ahead. Neither am I saying you shouldn’t allow a man to spoil you to his heart’s content but to sit and expect someone who you know can’t really afford it to pay for your meal and your drinks and your taxi fare home on the basis of ‘old fashioned values’ to me that says a lot about you not just as a woman but as a person as well.