The ‘hookup’ app

Tinder, for those who don’t know is a relatively new app that has hit the dating scene. It has a simple methodology that gets rid of the awkward conversations with people you’re just not attracted to. Instead of exposing yourself with a long written paragraph that sounds more like you’re applying for a job than enticing someone to ask you on a date, tinder instead connects with your Facebook to bring over a selection of photos, your interests (which pages you like on Facebook), your friends list and your age and location. There is the option to write a little paragraph about yourself but this seems mostly to be used for humorous taglines, jokes and anecdotes to entice in the lucky (or unlucky) viewer.

The beauty of tinder is that for the most part it mainly focuses on being attracted to someone. The basic idea being when presented with a photo of a possible love match you swipe right if you like and left if you don’t. A conversation cannot be started between two people until they both swipe right on each other and ‘match’.

In theory it’s a wonderful idea, no more disappointment when you message someone and they ignore you because now you know that just by matching that person fancies you as much as you fancy them. The facebook connection allows you to see what interests you share and any mutual friends you have and it’s all done geographically so you can set the distance you want to search in from where you are. Helpful if you’ve just moved or are visiting somewhere new.

Tinder has however come under some criticism. Dubbed ‘the sex app’ because when you’re matching on physical attraction alone it becomes very easy to use the app to meet up with people purely for sex. Not to mention it’s not without its own collection of extremely weird (and wonderful) people and their weird and not so wonderful photos.

A random scroll through 50 possible candidates in my area revealed the following:

A 27 year old man who’s only shared interest with me was the lad bible and his main picture was of him and some friends dressed as clowns. Scary clowns I may add

A 25 year old ‘self-employed promoter, freelancer, Luddite’ I had to google the latter and I’m still unsure of its relevance

Tim, a rugby player who takes a shot at humour with ‘I’m not heightest provided I can still wear heels and be shorter than you’ after advising he is 6’3

Rosalie who is definitely…. A girl and clearly clicked the wrong sex on her profile and hasn’t realised yet

Cesar who actually looks like the dog whisperer…

Wayne who makes it clear he’s openly racist with his disgustingly worded meme as a main picture

And of course the usual assortment of fake tan covered, Ibiza loving Joey Essex wannabes in their bar crawl vests from last year’s holiday and matching bright red shorts.

But then… a rogue hottie appears. Student, rugby player, buff but not too much so, just the right amount of facial hair, shared music tastes, shared drinking places, and likes Netflix. Right swipe it is! And… no match. But then that’s the beauty of tinder yet again. 50 more people to swipe past and you’ve forgotten about the rogue fitty you found before because you’re onto the next one or laughing at the guy who thought a picture of his penis was a great idea to attract the ladies right swipe.

For amusing tinder messages you should check out ‘tinder nightmares’ on Instagram.


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